And there goes another decade. This one, without doubt, has been the most important one of my life. From being on the floor most of the time, having op after op, losing faith in life and not really having a group of friends (all explained in the book, buy it!) to re-building totally and, so I’m told, inspiring others.

So this decade. I entered it in my 40’s, I leave it my 50’s and most importantly, I leave it still fighting. I’ve added a few tattoos and a few scars in those ten years. I’ve had some laughs, I’ve seldom cried, and I’ve achieved more things than in any decade since my brain operation. All in all, that can’t be bad can it?

The last couple of years have been a bit tough, as the brain aches do tend to make periods of my life a bit painful (I like understatements!) and dull, but I’ve still pushed on to achieve the little things that I can, actually, some are not so little, more in a second, and focus on the big things I want to achieve during the 2020’s when this latest flare-up subsides.

And only 2 operations as well. That is good going for me and my running total of 13.

2016 Upper abs, lower rib procedure, 47 years old.
2018 Ureteroscopy for kidney stones. 49 years old.

I did think I might be heading for another brain chop, because the dizziness in the last 6 months has gone off the scale and I am getting pain at the hind-brain, something I thought was pretty much dormant now. I paid for an MRI scan recently though, as I’m not messing around this time. It shows the damage is stable and nothing catastrophic is happening (like the cavity done to allow the CSF fluid to flow giving way) so although I still need to investigate why the pressure is high and I will take treatment if there is any (probably isn’t) it isn’t quite what I thought might be happening. I was going to do a – surely worlds first – sponsored brain op if one was needed. I think I’ll aim for the slightly less dramatic sponsored climbing of Scafell Pike (to complete the 3 peaks) instead as soon as I can get fit enough!

Bit discombobulated at just how bad my memory is at the moment, most likely just all down to the pressure. Makes talking at times a bit tough and I really don’t like the starting of a sentence only to totally forget what my point is. Even my mates are going easy on me at the moment, instead of doing what mates do, ripping into me, so it must be bad! One thing that makes it better is drink, but I can’t live my life drunk can I? Err… can I?!?!?

So the ten years.

Just two relatively easy, for me, ops. I went a full year without seeing my doctor, which might not sound a big deal to you, but it is to someone with my medical history! And flare-ups etc… if I focussed on all that, and the way my day-to-day is, it would be miserable, but I don’t focus on that stuff… as my book clearly illustrates (Fear Conquers All) I focus on the positives in life, from the small moments when things aren’t great, to the truly epic things.

So:

October 2015 I was featured in Men’s Health

In 2016 a group of friends and I climbed Ben Nevis. Well, they climbed it, I crawled it.

As I say in the book:

All I’d wanted to do was go and watch a Quentin Tarantino movie and have a nice burger with friends.

I ended up at the top of a bloody mountain!

This is one of my all time favourite photos:

Bizarrely in 2016/17 season I was involved in the kit launch for Aston Villaand Under Armour.

And did a speech at their kit launch evening.

I remind you, it wasn’t that many years before, that I was just lying on the floor, no real hope, just a spirit to get through each day. And this isn’t to big up myself, it is to remind you, that you can also get up, get out and live!

There was a whole spiritual journey in 2017, too odd to try to blog about here, but a worthy chapter in my book that is for sure. If nothing else, it convinced me there is a meaning to all ‘this’ and you might as well crack on and try to be the best version of yourself that is possible!

You did a what? Yeah, this one was silly. I did a marathon. I broke myself I can’t lie. But feck me, I’m proud of this achievement and no one can ever take it away from me. I’d like to see them try! My blog about the marathon: The Barmiest Thing I’ve Ever Done & One Of The Best Things I’ve Ever Done.

August 2017 I got up Snowdon.

I’d hoped to have added more of this sort of thing by now, but the brain aches have had other ideas. My training has been on and offerable, but I’ll get my fight back chance some time (hopefully soon) and will again make the most of it.

Then I launched my book. I’ve not, as yet, got an agent or publisher, so it has been self-published, I still hope I can get it to a wider audience, the reviews have been fantastic and that makes me so proud. So thank you to everyone who gave an arse, had faith in me and bought one.

I’m currently working on a book of poems, as they have gone down really well. One of the biggest honours of my life, let alone the last 10 years, was when Dennis Mortimer read the book, said he loved it and especially liked the poems and asked if I would write one for him to read out at the dearly departed Ron Saunders funeral. You can see the poem here: A Tribute To Ron Saunders – Thanks To Dennis Mortimer.

And I did a mini-documentary with @DanRolinson for @AVFC_News (Birmingham Mail), “I Was A Complete Ghost.”

Oh, and I got nominated for a Queen’s Honour. The application was honour enough, some lovely things written about me in the nomination letters. I think the nomination is still open, a few more letters have been sent in over the last year, but I’m not rich and famous, so I don’t think I stand a chance. But to have General Krulak write this about me, as well as lovely ones from friends and associates, makes me very proud.

So there you go. The decade could have been ‘just’ filled with dizziness, pain, crushing fatigue, operations, ailments and mediocrity.

But, to the best of my ability, I got up, I got out, I lived.

And I hope I’ve not finished there. This coming ten years, I want to get back into my gym, complete the three peaks, raise more for charity, see Villa win something (ok, sorry, I’m probably not being realistic now!) publish a book of poetry and hopefully have a documentary done to try to get the message out to everyone in life:

You have one shot.

TAKE IT.

Thanks to everyone who I have crossed paths with over the last decade, whether positive or negative, you’ve made me stronger. And some have you have even touched my heart, which isn’t an easy to thing to do. You know who you are.

Peace.